When we were little our mothers read us stories that spoke about the prince coming on his white charger and saving the princess and they lived happily ever after. None of the fairytales said the princess died of cancer or the Prince had a fear of commitment. When were in high school we read teen novels that spoke of high school sweethearts that went through thick and thin and lived again happily ever after. And then we were in college reading Mills & Boons about a handsome sheikh that falls in love with a beautiful European model and spirits her off to a faraway land.
There hasn’t been one book that says the main character in the book was slightly overweight with self esteem issues. There hasn’t been a book that says that men have commitment issues and they would rather go wham bam thank you ma’am instead of happily ever after. So yes my conclusion is happily ever after is just a myth.
When I was in school it was quite cool to have a boyfriend, but I was living with my aunt and she kept telling me how men just wanted one thing and once they got it they dumped you and blah blah blah. I should have listened to her instead of hearing, “Yap, Yap, Yap………” because what she said is not an old woman’s tale but a theory that is proven over and over again in various parts of the world probably every minute. Well moving on I found a guy that I probably thought was right for me but my family hated him. He was into drugs, cigarettes, etc and for me that was all cool. Making a long story short he kept asking me to go to bed with him and I kept saying no as that was something I was going to “preserve” the operative word being “preserve” until marriage. So he got frustrated got a little stalkerish and left me alone after that. And that was my first let down of the happily ever after saga.
There were a series of boyfriends after that that came in and left. Some came to the point of asking me to marry them just in the hope of getting me into bed but unfortunately for them and fortunately for me I was adamant on preserving it. Well my best friends from school and college started hooking up and running away from home with guys and marrying them and having a pretty satisfactory married life and that made me hope that maybe just maybe there might be something to the happily ever after saga and then came the huge crash to planet earth.
I came to Auckland with my mum and met this guy. Oh also by now I had lost my innocence to put it delicately by some unforeseen turn of events but that’s a whole new story altogether. Now come back to this guy whom we shall refer to as Mr. X. He was fabulous. He didn’t expect anything from me. I liked talking to him as we met on this phone based chat line and hadn’t seen each other before but he was insisting on meeting me and I thought maybe he was the one. I knew all about him and was debating that can a guy who is 20 years my senior and who maybe won’t be accepted by my mum be the one. But I was a hopeless romantic and thought yes he might be My Prince Charming. He sounded charming enough on the phone. Well so I met him.
Mr. X turned out to be really nice. He was adorable, charming, had a fantastic sense of humor, and had good taste when it came to music, food and cars. He was in many ways my Mr. Perfect. The icing on the cake was that a few months into this arrangement or friendship that we had he told me he was in love with me. And I was deliriously happy because of which I conveniently ignored the fact that he was bloody drunk when he said it. And that night I went on to dream about moving in with him and thinking of our fantastically fabulous relationship. The next day he changed the I love you to maybe I think I love you and that was good enough for me. And then that changed to I was confused and I was drunk and I didn’t know what I was saying. Followed by I think you are getting too attached to me and we should take a break.
That was my big crash to reality and something that made me think that hoping only makes us feel disappointed at the end of the day but if we don’t hope what is there to live for. But the above just proves that happily ever after doesn’t exist. It’s just a myth that supports the commercialism of Valentines Day and the lovely glossy magazines we love buying. Thinking happily ever after exists is just paving a path to disaster.